I believe that you are whole and complete exactly as you are. I believe that you are the perfect sexual partner for someone (or maybe multiple someones!) EXACTLY as you are. I believe that your body is going to drive someone (or maybe multiple someones!) to distraction because they love it so much, EXACTLY as it is today.
I also know that if you’re reading this, you probably don’t believe that yet. And that’s okay.
It wasn’t that long ago that I didn’t believe it either.
Two years ago, I was worried about everything…
…what if I had too many rolls of extra flesh for anyone to ever want to have sex with me?
…what if I was unacceptable because I didn’t like to swallow – surely that was a deal-breaker for men?
…what if my inexperience meant I was doing everything wrong and I was a terrible lover?
Trystan Reese is a transgender white man in a monogamous gay marriage who is 35 years old. In 2017, Trystan gave birth to a baby conceived with his husband Biff. While Trystan has been living as a man for the past 15 years, he was raised and socialized as a female for his first 18 years.
The first thing I noticed about Kate was that, even though I had just seen her dancing naked on a pole, she was one of the most articulate and intelligent women I’d met in a long time. She forced me to come face-to-face with my own judgments about sex workers.
Please talk to Leah! You will (finally!) get to talk about and explore your sexual desires, your proclivities, your blind spots and your most intimate sexual needs with someone who is fully present, non-judgmental and deeply wise.
Leah pushed me and asked me questions to really narrow in on my desires and boundaries, all in a way that I knew was FOR me. Talking so openly and safely about desires and specifics made it possible for me to approach conversations with my partner.
Working with Leah has been nothing short of liberating. In just a few sessions I have already learned to ask for what I want and ask for what I deserve, and have put new concepts and skills into practice immediately. She has pushed me out of my comfort zone, but never too far. I always feel safe, respected, and trusting in my conversations with her.
With Leah, I learned how transformative it is to talk about sex! Not just that it’s okay, but it’s necessary for a healthy sexual relationship. Even though I’ve experienced other coaching and feel close with my female friends, I realize how much I’ve sidestepped direct conversations about sexuality. Leah helped me explore this arena with great insight and compassion.