Did you grow up in a controlling, shame-filled environment where you learned fucked up ideas about sex and relationships?
Me too!
Sex and relationship coaching with me is especially supportive if you grew up in:
→ Purity culture
→ Religious abuse
→ Narcissistic abuse
→ Cults
→ Other patriarchal and shame-based environments
I believed things like:
- I was a failure if I didn't give every bit of myself ... and then kept giving even when I had less than nothing left
- It was selfish to ask anyone to fill my needs because I wasn’t supposed to have any
- Exploring my sexuality was dangerous but I didn't know why
The beliefs that once kept us safe don’t automatically disappear when the environment changes. As adults, they can linger in ways that affect our relationships, our bodies, and our sense of self.
When I talk about high-control environments — places where safety depended on obedience rather than self-trust — this is what I’m referring to.
Here’s what I know now:
When we were kids, our brains developed patterns that helped us survive in environments where we had no power. Unfortunately our brain didn’t get the memo that we’re no longer in that life and it can move on. As an adult, those strategies are holding you back instead of protecting you.
In our work together, I’ll help you understand those patterns — and gently build relationships and a sex life that feel safe, connected, and satisfying.
I work with thoughtful adults who:
- Have left, or are in the process of leaving, high-control environments
- Feel disconnected from desire, boundaries, or self-trust
- Freeze, people-please, shut down, or spiral in intimacy or conflict
- Can explain their patterns perfectly, but still feel stuck and don't know how to change
Ways this might look for you:
- Knowing you’re “allowed” to want things, but your body and brain freeze in the moment
- Over-explaining, second-guessing, or feeling responsible for other people’s fulfillment but not asking anyone to care for yours
- Continually thinking, “Why do I always feel like I'm failing?"
If you grew up in a high-control environment, your confusion and discontent about sex and relationships as an adult is a logical, expected outcome. More than that, it’s the desired outcome by the perpetrators because it made you easier to control.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Even if you don’t believe that yet, I know it’s true. And I’ll stand beside you as you learn to believe it for yourself.
Working with Leah helped me understand how I show up in relationships — including my relationship with myself. I feel safer, clearer, and more grounded than I ever have before.
Ready to take the next step?
The best way to know if we’re a good fit is a short, no-pressure discovery call.
We’ll talk about what’s not working, what you want instead, and whether coaching together makes sense.
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