There are people already in your life who want to love you. Let them!
Sabi craves love and connection … but can they be truly happy if they give up their own needs in order to make others happy?
It’s not unusual for someone who is craving companionship to spend endless time and energy turning themselves into who they think the other person wants them to be. This isn’t having a relationship – this is performing a character. So while you might get a little crumb of what you want in the moment, it’s likely to leave you feeling unstable overall because you never know what they’ll want next. And you’ll always fear that you won’t be able to fulfill that need and be left abandoned … again.
I know that it’s tempting to jump on the first prospect you see when you’re really lonely. But the energy you waste turning yourself into a pretzel for their pleasure could be used on finding a relationship where you’re able to show up fully as yourself.
MYTH: I’m too difficult / too weird / too unattractive / too (fill in the blank) for anyone to ever truly love me as I am.
TRUTH: You don’t need to pretend you’re someone you aren’t in order to receive love. Allow your friends and community to wrap you in their love – cuddle on the couch while you watch a movie; share your favorite meals; go on a friends’ date. Don’t save your love for the “one and only” you haven’t met yet. It won’t be the same as having a romantic and sexual partner, but it’s better than suffering at home alone.