People in strong relationships still fight! They’ve learned how to handle conflict without escalating to chaos.
Tami is able to balance fierce loving support and firm boundaries … plus she and Coach share hot chemistry!
Tami and Coach experience their fair share of ups and downs across five seasons of television. What sets their relationship apart is Tami’s exceptional communication skills and her ability to regulate her nervous system. What does that mean?
What it doesn’t mean is that Tami and Coach never experience relationship highs and lows.
What it does mean is that Tami possesses a deep understanding of her own emotional system and has honed her emotional skills to a point where when she does become upset, it doesn’t spiral out of control.
For example, in the video below, she openly communicates her anger to Coach. She acknowledges that she’s angry and chooses to remain hidden under the table while tidying up a mess. She explains, “When I go back up there, I’ll give you a big smile like I know you need. But down here, I’m pissed.”
MYTH: Our relationship is amazing because we never fight.
TRUTH: It is unreasonable to believe that you would find another person who is so perfectly matched to you that you always think the same thing, believe the same way, and act in accordance with each other’s desires.
Not fighting is a big red flag in a relationship because it means that conflicts are being buried rather than dealt with. This doesn’t have to mean big screaming matches, but there does need to be a mechanism for the couple to process conflict and move forward.