Gender Inclusivity
I want everyone to feel welcome, seen, and included in my work.
If you’ve listened to me talk, you’ve probably noticed that sometimes I use phrases that might sound a little different to your ears—like “people who have penises” or “people who were brought up as little girls.”
That’s because gender is complicated.
Photo by Zackary Drucker, courtesy of The Gender Spectrum Collection.
For much of history, many cultures believed that genitals, chromosomes, and gender identity all lined up neatly. Some people were born with ambiguous genitals (intersex), which didn’t fit the system, but they were treated as rare exceptions. Transgender and non-binary people were dismissed as “freaks” or seen as having a “mental illness.”
Today, we know better. Science is constantly evolving, and culture is starting to catch up (though the current war on gender non-conforming people in the United States political sphere appears intent on erasing these gains.)
- We now know that intersex people are far more common than we once believed, which means genitals are not a reliable marker of gender.
- We now know that chromosomes aren’t just XX=female and XY=male—there are over a dozen variations. (If you’re curious, I recommend this excellent thread.) This means chromosomes are not a reliable marker of gender.
And the scientific consensus is clear—the transgender experience is real, valid, and in no way a “mental disorder.” This means a person’s gender identity is real, no matter their genitals or chromosomes.
For that reason, I use different language at different times.
I know that most of my audience is made up of cisgender women (meaning you were born with a vagina, raised as a girl, and still identify as a woman). If that’s you, the way gender is typically talked about in mainstream conversations probably feels just fine. So in many cases, I use traditional male/female language.
But there are also trans men, trans women, and non-binary people in my audience, and for them, standard gendered language doesn’t always fit. That’s why I sometimes say things like “people with penises” or “people who were brought up as little girls.”
The unfortunate truth is that in many situations, I don’t have the time to fully explain all of this. If I’m on a podcast or radio show and someone asks why young moms experience low libido, I might say “women” because it’s the quickest way to be understood in that moment. But as you can see, while the word “women” may be useful in context, it’s not the whole picture.
I have long been committed to diversity and inclusion and am committed to continuing to learn through both personal and professional growth. I will update this document as I learn more.
The date of last update is March 2025.
