Stand up to medical consent violations

Reclaiming your voice after a medical consent violation

Supporting you in acknowledging and communicating what happened to you

Have you experienced a moment at a medical provider’s office where:

  • You felt they weren’t listening? 
  • They flat-out ignored your wishes? 
  • There was unwanted touch during an appointment? 
  • Or maybe you’re not exactly sure what the hell just happened, but you know you’re left with a distinctly uncomfortable feeling?
A doctor stands with their arms crossed and a hand holding a red stethoscope

If you’re reading these words, my guess is you have … and you’re looking for help so you can go to a medical provider again in the future without feeling existential dread of it happening again.

I’ve been there.  More than once. But I never did anything to dispel the frustration or distress. I assumed since doctors are highly trained, my feelings must be wrong.

But then, in 2019, I had an experience I couldn’t ignore.  Here’s what happened:

I visited a chiropractor I hadn’t seen before.  I’d been on his table for a few minutes when he said, “I’m going to do some traction on your neck.”

With absolutely no further explanation or warning, he strapped my head down to the table using a contraption that also held my jaw closed.  Even worse, because he was sitting behind me, I had no idea it was coming.  One moment I was absolutely fine, the next I was secured to a table by a man I didn’t know in a small room with no means of escape and the impression that I couldn’t communicate.

The dissociation was so severe that it took me two days to finally land back in my body.

This time I didn’t let myself get caught up in believing that “he must know better than me.”  This time, I took action.

I wrote a letter to the offending practitioner about the incident. Here are some excerpts:

You may wonder why I didn’t say anything at the moment. It is not unusual for people who have experienced some level of sexual abuse, assault, or other trauma (as I have) to remove ourselves mentally and emotionally from what feels like a dangerous situation. We put on a smile and happy voice in order to get through the moment.

My entire focus narrowed to the knowledge that I was at a physical disadvantage; my background told me that if I did or said anything to upset the person who held the physical advantage, it could end VERY badly for me.

You will see in my email signature that I work in the field of sexuality and consent. Which is why I’m reaching out to you – not because I’m angry or even looking for an apology. But because if this type of response and dissociation happened for me, with a wealth of communication and negotiation skills at my disposal, imagine what happens to patients who have a similar response and have no way to process it or contextualize it.

I hope that in the future you will take an extra moment to communicate with each patient about what you are about to do. If it is something like strapping a person to a table, please get their verbal consent before proceeding.

For the first time I feel I’ve reclaimed my voice from a medical practitioner who didn’t seem to see the person inside the body and the symptoms.

If you are ready to reclaim YOUR voice from a practitioner who violated your consent, I’m here to support you.

Here’s what to expect:

SESSION 1 (one hour)
SESSION 2 (one hour)

I am also available for optional follow-up sessions to work on tactics and exercises to help you feel empowered to stand for your own boundaries in future medical appointments ($125 per session).



Stand up to medical consent violations

$ 250 00
  • When you're ready to reclaim your voice!

PLEASE NOTE: If you are a medical provider who wants to learn more about providing consent-based services, I highly recommend Dr. Evelin Dacker.

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