Reema Zaman is a 35-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Bangladeshi, heterosexual, monogamous, and single. She released the book “I Am Yours” in February 2019. It is the story of reclaiming her voice after years of trauma and abuse. I spoke with Reema ahead of the release of her book, but for technical reasons we weren’t able to release the full interview as part of the regular season. But the interview was so good that I didn’t want to lose it all, so I’ve pulled together some portions to share with you today.
Each regular episode ends with a rapid fire Q&A, “The Quick Five.” But I ask more questions than I broadcast, so this special episode is a compilation of those answers. I hope what you’ll take away from this is that however you do YOU and YOUR BODY is exactly perfect for YOU. Plus, at the end, I share my takeaways from season one of Good Girls Talk About Sex!
I believe that you are whole and complete exactly as you are. I believe that you are the perfect sexual partner for someone (or maybe multiple someones!) EXACTLY as you are. I believe that your body is going to drive someone (or maybe multiple someones!) to distraction because they love it so much, EXACTLY as it is today.
I also know that if you’re reading this, you probably don’t believe that yet. And that’s okay.
It wasn’t that long ago that I didn’t believe it either.
Two years ago, I was worried about everything…
…what if I had too many rolls of extra flesh for anyone to ever want to have sex with me?
…what if I was unacceptable because I didn’t like to swallow – surely that was a deal-breaker for men?
…what if my inexperience meant I was doing everything wrong and I was a terrible lover?
Please talk to Leah! You will (finally!) get to talk about and explore your sexual desires, your proclivities, your blind spots and your most intimate sexual needs with someone who is fully present, non-judgmental and deeply wise.
Leah pushed me and asked me questions to really narrow in on my desires and boundaries, all in a way that I knew was FOR me. Talking so openly and safely about desires and specifics made it possible for me to approach conversations with my partner.
Working with Leah has been nothing short of liberating. In just a few sessions I have already learned to ask for what I want and ask for what I deserve, and have put new concepts and skills into practice immediately. She has pushed me out of my comfort zone, but never too far. I always feel safe, respected, and trusting in my conversations with her.
With Leah, I learned how transformative it is to talk about sex! Not just that it’s okay, but it’s necessary for a healthy sexual relationship. Even though I’ve experienced other coaching and feel close with my female friends, I realize how much I’ve sidestepped direct conversations about sexuality. Leah helped me explore this arena with great insight and compassion.