When we started to explore kink – Betsy

Betsy is a 38-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous and in a relationship.

Last year Betsy came to me to do sexual communication coaching as she considered branching into some new sexual explorations with BDSM as a submissive. She tells some of that story in this episode.

Major themes in this episode include exploring new sexual realms (with support from a coach), navigating a changing relationship with her body, and BDSM.

Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:

  • 7:00 – How Betsy started to feel better in her body by doing a sexy dance workout
  • 9:30 – Her relief at losing her virginity at age 27
  • 14:00 – Betsy joins the bar scene and has sex with lots of different men
  • 16:50 – Settled into marriage, Betsy and her husband had mismatched libidos
  • 21:00 – Betsy’s dawning desire for BDSM activities
  • 24:00 – Betsy met her current partner and experienced immediate trust and opening of communication
  • 27:50 – The yes/no/maybe list (download at leahcarey.com/checklist)
  • 29:00 – The dynamics of a BDSM play sessions, including sub-space and post-mortem talk sessions
  • 31:00 – Betsy shares some of the specific activities she and her partner do during play sessions
  • 31:45 – Anal play, learning to use pain for pleasure, role playing and restraints
  • 35:00 – The role trust plays in her current relationship and how it affects all aspects of Betsy’s life

The Quick 5:

  • 37:06 – Do you have hair down there or are you bare?
  • 37:31 – How much of your sex time is kinky vs. vanilla play?
  • 38:42 – How do you feel about the smell/taste of your own juices if he kisses you after going down on you?
  • 39:06 – Do you prefer when your partner makes noise or is quiet?
  • 39:15 – Are you a single or multi-orgasmic woman?

The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • At the $5/month level, Betsy talks more about her BDSM relationship with her partner, including specific activities they enjoy and how important trust is in their relationship.
  • At the $7/month level, that conversation plus almost 16 minutes of Q&A!
  • At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything!

Become a part of the Patreon community at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex!

If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2.

Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you!

To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching

Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music by – Nazar Rybak