The ‘queer’ label feels good – Julia
Julia and her partner have agreed to a certain amount of openness in their relationship – openness that they haven’t taken advantage of yet. But their conversations on the topic – and Julia’s clear-headed consideration of the potential pitfalls – provide an amazing example for anyone who is considering opening this door with their partner. In fact, it’s so good that I think it should be required listening!
Julia is a dear friend and I love how deeply she thinks about how we can all be better to ourselves and each other.
Julia Sheldon is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, queer, and monogamish. She grew up in Canada and still lives there with her male partner. You can find her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/juliasheldon.sex.ed
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
- 3:10 – Her first memory of sexual pleasure, making out and dry humping with friends of both genders. They knew to hide the activity.
- 11:25 – Masturbating with toys and vibrators.
- 14:20 – Her first conscious sexual interaction with a boy, at a youth church event. She flirted and made out and then didn’t want to date him.
- 16:20 – She realizes that anxiety makes her not want to date the boys she was making out with.
- 19:20 – Peer pressure in college to get laid, even though she’s not ready.
- 21:20 – The first sexual relationship is with someone she knew and had a friendship with. It turned into a 2-year long distance relationship.
- 25:48 – She realized she likes women too.
- 28:00 – She discusses what “queer” means to her.
- 29:35 – She hasn’t had a sexual relationship with a woman yet but makes sure those she dates know she’s queer.
- 30:30 – She has the discussion with her partner about her desire/need to be able to sexually explore with other people of both genders that she’s interested in; establishing ground rules.
- 39:00 – Talking about what it will actually be like when play with an outside partner happens, on either end, getting needs met, and emotional processing.
The Lowdown (40:30)
- What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had?
- Do you prefer clit stimulation or penetration?
- Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbating or from sex with another person?
- What kind of touch do you enjoy most?
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
- $1/mo – Dealing with low libido
- $5/mo – Sex education in Canada and her exposure to info about sex as a kid
- $7/mo – Extended Q&A
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Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak