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You're browsing an advice column looking for help with your most pressing sex and relationship issues. On each screen, choose the question that sounds MOST similar to your current life.



I want sex a lot more often than my partner does. We love each other and want to stay together. How do we navigate our mismatched libidos?
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After sex I often feel empty and lonely. Is there something wrong with me?
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I’m afraid some of my sexual desires might be immoral or deviant. Can you help me figure out what is okay and what isn't?
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We’ve been together for a long time and we’ve become disconnected over the years. Is it possible to breathe life back into a long-term relationship?
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I’ve never had success dating and I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. What if I’m so weird that nobody every wants me?
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None of the above
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I really want someone to whisper dirty nothings in my ear, but I’m afraid I’d be too shy to say anything in return. What should I do?
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There are so many sexy things I’ve never had the chance to try and now I can! Where do I begin with exploring these long-held desires?
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I don’t feel ashamed of having sex with lots of people, but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s what I actually want or if it's a compulsion. How do I stop?
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I love my family but they keep interfering in my relationship. It’s hurtful to me and my partner. What can I do?
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I grew up in a religious home where the rules around sex were strict. I left that behind, but I think I have a lot of incorrect information and beliefs. How do I start unlearning them?
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None of the above
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I think I'm getting in the way of my own happiness. No matter how good things are in my relationship, I overthink everything. How do I relax and let myself be happy?
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I missed a lot of things in my younger years. Am I too old to catch up on all the fun sexy stuff I watched my friends have?
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Should I encourage my partner to see a doctor about their libido? I’ve tried all sorts of things to help them have a higher libido, but nothing works.
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When my family or friends criticize my choices, my partner, or our relationship, it hurts more than I want them to know. How do I get them to stop?
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I’ve had a crush on someone for a long time. Today I found out they might like me back and suddenly I realize – I’m so used to chasing them, I have no idea what to do if I catch them! Help!
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None of the above
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I’ve been hurt so many times, I don’t know how to let someone in anymore. How do I take down some of the walls so I can have a healthy relationship?
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I keep choosing partners who aren’t good for me, then I get terribly hurt when they treat me poorly. Why do I do this?
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Sometimes I’d rather masturbate than have sex with my partner. Is that bad?
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I want to ask my partner for something new, but I’m afraid it will upset them or make them feel inadequate. What do I do?
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I see one night stands as no morally better or worse than long term relationships, but I'm clearly in the minority. Am I missing something?
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None of the above
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I’ve been rejected so many times that I don’t even try anymore. Is there hope for me?
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We’re in a rut. How do I get my partner excited to try new and different kinds of sex?
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I want to explore some kinky things. How do I begin?
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I get so in my head that I over-analyze EVERYTHING my partner says and does, and it causes problems in my relationships. How do I stop doing this?
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I’m finally feeling comfortable with who I am, but people in my life don't approve. I want to set boundaries, but I’m afraid that might drive them away entirely. What should I do?
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None of the above
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I think I would die of embarrassment if I had to talk to my partner about what I want in bed. How do people learn to do it?
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I feel like a doormat – I do everything for everyone and I barely get anything in return. How do I let my partner know that I need more?
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I would like to date, but I think I might be invisible. I’m a good person and reasonably attractive – why doesn’t anybody see me?
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I know that I need better boundaries in relationships, but I have no idea how to start developing them. What's the secret?
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Whenever clothes come off with someone, I just go along with whatever they want even if it's not something I really want. Is that a problem?
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None of the above
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Sex has always been blah. Am I too old and set in my ways to have the experiences I want?
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Anxiety gets the better of me, especially in the bedroom. I wish all the voices in my head would just shut up! What do I do?
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I left Purity Culture, but I don’t think it’s left me. I still feel guilty when I have sex and judge myself for things I no longer believe. What can I do?
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I’ve kept myself small my whole life, afraid to attract attention. How do I start taking up more space?
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I want more sex than my partner does. Is there a way for me to help them want more, or am I forever destined to have a ton of pent-up sexual energy?
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None of the above
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Sometimes I wonder if I’m following my own desires, or if I’ve unthinkingly adopted what other people told me I should want. How do I figure that out?
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I love my partner and we have a great relationship except in the bedroom. I’m so bored I could scream. What do I do?
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I want an exciting dating and sex life, but instead everything feels dull and gray. I’m not sure how to get out of this rut. What can I do?
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My best friend says that I settle for scraps in relationships and I need to expect more from people. But I don’t attract a lot of attention, so shouldn’t I be grateful for what I get?
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When somebody offers me sex, I almost always say yes … even when I already know it’s sex that won’t be good or that I don’t want. Why do I keep doing that?
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None of the above
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Cisgender female
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Cisgender male
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Transgender female
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Transgender male
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Gender queer
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Other
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Prefer not to answer
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Under 20
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21-30
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31-40
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41-50
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51-60
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61 and up
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Prefer not to answer
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Your top result:

but can she navigate the significant mismatch in their libidos?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
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🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

but can she have a healthy sexual relationship if she doesn’t learn to communicate?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT%%
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🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
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🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

is it true?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
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🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

but can she overcome the toxic after effects of Purity Culture?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT%%
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[CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT]
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🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

but will her overthinking sabotage her happiness?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT%%
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER%%
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT]
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER]
🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

but can she stand a life where she knows every move he’s going to make before he makes it?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT%%
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER%%
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT]
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER]
🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

but is she too old to start trying new things?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT%%
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER%%
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT]
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER]
🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

but does she have to lose people she loves to be the truest version of herself?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT%%
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER%%
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT]
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER]
🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

Your top result:

but can they be truly happy if they give up their own needs in order to make others happy?
We are all a combination of strengths and challenges, so you probably have traits from multiple alter egos. Learn more by checking out your 2nd and 3rd place outcomes!
Your 2nd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="2"]
Your 3rd place result:
[ShowOutcomeDesc Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
[ShowOutcomeDescClone Rank="3"]
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT%%
%%CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER%%
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_PERCENT]
[CATEGORY_TOTAL_NUMBER]
🤣

Which means one of two things:
1) You've already got a fantastic sense of self in sex and relationship - congratulations, you're a Tami!
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I applaud your curiosity! Might I interest you in trying again?
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