What is your biggest sex & relationship challenge?

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Who is your sex and relationship alter ego?

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You're browsing an advice column looking for help with your most pressing sex and relationship issues. On each screen, choose the question that sounds MOST similar to your current life.

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I want sex a lot more often than my partner does. We love each other and want to stay together. How do we navigate our mismatched libidos?

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After sex I often feel empty and lonely. Is there something wrong with me?

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I’m afraid some of my sexual desires might be immoral or deviant. Can you help me figure out what is okay and what isn't?

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We’ve been together for a long time and we’ve become disconnected over the years. Is it possible to breathe life back into a long-term relationship?

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I’ve never had success dating and I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. What if I’m so weird that nobody every wants me?

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None of the above

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I really want someone to whisper dirty nothings in my ear, but I’m afraid I’d be too shy to say anything in return. What should I do?

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There are so many sexy things I’ve never had the chance to try and now I can! Where do I begin with exploring these long-held desires?

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I don’t feel ashamed of having sex with lots of people, but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s what I actually want or if it's a compulsion. How do I stop?

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I love my family but they keep interfering in my relationship. It’s hurtful to me and my partner. What can I do?

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I grew up in a religious home where the rules around sex were strict. I left that behind, but I think I have a lot of incorrect information and beliefs. How do I start unlearning them?

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None of the above

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I think I'm getting in the way of my own happiness. No matter how good things are in my relationship, I overthink everything. How do I relax and let myself be happy?

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I missed a lot of things in my younger years. Am I too old to catch up on all the fun sexy stuff I watched my friends have?

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Should I encourage my partner to see a doctor about their libido? I’ve tried all sorts of things to help them have a higher libido, but nothing works.

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When my family or friends criticize my choices, my partner, or our relationship, it hurts more than I want them to know. How do I get them to stop?

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I’ve had a crush on someone for a long time. Today I found out they might like me back and suddenly I realize – I’m so used to chasing them, I have no idea what to do if I catch them! Help!

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None of the above

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I’ve been hurt so many times, I don’t know how to let someone in anymore. How do I take down some of the walls so I can have a healthy relationship?

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I keep choosing partners who aren’t good for me, then I get terribly hurt when they treat me poorly. Why do I do this?

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Sometimes I’d rather masturbate than have sex with my partner. Is that bad?

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I want to ask my partner for something new, but I’m afraid it will upset them or make them feel inadequate. What do I do?

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I see one night stands as no morally better or worse than long term relationships, but I'm clearly in the minority. Am I missing something?

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None of the above

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I’ve been rejected so many times that I don’t even try anymore. Is there hope for me?

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We’re in a rut. How do I get my partner excited to try new and different kinds of sex?

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I want to explore some kinky things. How do I begin?

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I get so in my head that I over-analyze EVERYTHING my partner says and does, and it causes problems in my relationships. How do I stop doing this?

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I’m finally feeling comfortable with who I am, but people in my life don't approve. I want to set boundaries, but I’m afraid that might drive them away entirely. What should I do?

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None of the above

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I think I would die of embarrassment if I had to talk to my partner about what I want in bed. How do people learn to do it?

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I feel like a doormat – I do everything for everyone and I barely get anything in return. How do I let my partner know that I need more?

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I would like to date, but I think I might be invisible. I’m a good person and reasonably attractive – why doesn’t anybody see me?

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I know that I need better boundaries in relationships, but I have no idea how to start developing them. What's the secret?

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Whenever clothes come off with someone, I just go along with whatever they want even if it's not something I really want. Is that a problem?

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None of the above

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I've never had great sex. Am I too old and set in my ways to have the experiences I want?

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Anxiety gets the better of me, especially in the bedroom. I wish all the voices in my head would just shut up! What do I do?

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I left Purity Culture, but I don’t think it’s left me. I still feel guilty when I have sex and judge myself for things I no longer believe. What can I do?

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I’ve kept myself small my whole life, afraid to attract attention. How do I start taking up more space?

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I want more sex than my partner does. Is there a way for me to help them want more, or am I forever destined to have a ton of pent-up sexual energy?

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None of the above

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Sometimes I wonder if I’m following my own desires, or if I’ve unthinkingly adopted what other people told me I should want. How do I figure that out?

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I love my partner and we have a great relationship except in the bedroom. I’m so bored I could scream. What do I do?

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I want an exciting dating and sex life, but instead everything feels dull and gray. I’m not sure how to get out of this rut. What can I do?

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My best friend says that I settle for scraps in relationships and I need to expect more from people. But I don’t attract a lot of attention, so shouldn’t I be grateful for what I get?

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When somebody offers me sex, I almost always say yes … even when I already know it’s sex that won’t be good or that I don’t want. Why do I keep doing that?

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None of the above

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I'd love to know a little about you.
If you're willing to share, what is your gender?

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Cisgender female

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Cisgender male

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Transgender female

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Transgender male

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Gender queer

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Other

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Prefer not to answer

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I'd love to know a little about you.
If you're willing to share, how old are you?

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Under 20

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21-30

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31-40

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41-50

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51-60

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61 and up

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Prefer not to answer

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🎉 Your sex & relationship alter ego results 🎉

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Well aren't you a stinker!
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The only way to get to this page is to choose "None of the above" on every question.

Which means one of two things:

1) You've already got a fantastic sense of self in sex and relationship - congratulations, you're a Tami!

Tami is able to balance fierce loving support and firm boundaries … plus she and Coach share hot chemistry!

2) You chose "none of the above" repeatedly to see what would happen. 😉

I applaud your curiosity! Might I interest you in trying again?

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