My Favorite Things
Over the last few years I've tried A LOT of toys, accessories, and other spicy-related things. Here are a selection of my favorites.
Some of these are affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through them, at no extra cost to you.
Toys
Tracy’s Dog
A bizarre name for a great toy! Internal vibrator plus an external clit sucker. You may need to experiment to find the position that hits your clit for the sucker – you’ll know it when you find it!
Glass dildos
Glass dildos (like this “Heart of Glass”) don’t do anything fancy, but glass feels oh-so-nice! For extra fun, put it in the refrigerator for a little while before play. Ooh-la-la!
Graduated anal plug with vibration
This is a great toy for beginners to anal play because it is graduated and you can go just as far as you are comfortable in any given play session. Plus it vibrates!
Wired Bullet Vibe
I like this simple little toy to stimulate my clit during intercourse – the wire makes it easy to keep track of when everything starts moving around!
Tweezer-style nipple clamps
If you’re curious about nipple clamps, I suggest starting with this tweezer style. I find them easier to get on and adjust. I avoided nipple clamps for a long time because I don’t like pain, but it turns out I love the sensation of these.
Screaming O Panty Vibe
If you’re ready for a little public play, this fits the bill. You put the vibe in your panties and your partner wears the remote control “ring” as you sit in a bar, take a walk in the park, or anywhere else you want to play around the edges of “getting caught.”
Tenga Eggs
These make a handjob on your favorite penis extra special. There are lots of different “varieties”, each with a different internal massage pattern.
Lubes and other important stuff
Isabel Fay water-based lubricant
I have very sensitive skin, and I’ve tried a lot of different lubricants to find one that doesn’t irritate me or feel goopy. This is by far my favorite!
Trustex non-lubricated condoms
These are the condoms I swear by for blow jobs – no smell, no taste, no ejaculate in my mouth! And paired with the Isabel Fay lube above, they’re great for intercourse too!
Under-the-bed restraints
These are super easy and lots of fun – you string them under your mattress and the velcro cuffs are ready for use any time. Simple and invisible as long as you tuck the cuffs under your sheets or mattress!
Books, Cards & More
Vision Cards for Your Relationship
by Odder Being
Get to know yourself and your partner even better, discover what makes you happy & boost your relationship.
- 49 questions & a wildcard
- Discuss communication, sexuality, dealing with challenges, and much more
Polyamory Conversation Cards
by Odder Being
If you’re in a non-monogamous relationship, or considering getting into one, these cards are going to be a great help!
Come As You Are
by Emily Nagoski
For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently—and far less seriously—than its male counterpart.
A revised and updated edition of Emily Nagoski’s game-changing New York Times bestseller Come As You Are, featuring new information and research on mindfulness, desire, and pleasure that will radically transform your sex life.
Mating in Captivity
by Esther Perel
A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
Becoming Cliterate
by Laurie Mintz
Studies published in scientific journals show that women who read this book orgasm more, have more arousal & less pain, improve their body image, and become more sexually satisfied. Men learn how to pleasure women and become better sexual communicators.
S*x and relationship podcasts
Good Girls Talk About Sex
OF COURSE!!! If you haven’t listened to Leah’s seminal podcast, this is where you should start.
As one listener said, “Your podcast is like the quality and depth of a Howard Stern interview, except better!”
Savage LoveCast
Dan Savage answers your spicy relationship questions and yaps about politics. For a small subscription fee, you can get the longer, ad-free version of the show!
Bawdy Storytelling
Bawdy Storytelling – dubbed ‘The Moth for pervs’ by the LA Weekly – is the nation’s original sex and storytelling series. Founded, emcee’ed and curated by sexual folklorist Dixie De La Tour, Bawdy Storytelling features real people and rockstars sharing their bona fide sexual exploits.
How To Be A Girl
Where Should We Begin?
American Sex Podcast
TV & Movies
Shows and movies appear and disappear from streaming services periodically. These watch links are current as of December 2021.
Sex Education (Netflix)
Watch the show. Just watch the show.
It’s so goddamn good, I don’t even have more words for it.
Offspring (Netflix)
One of my favorite shows – the stories around family and love relationships gripping. But even more than that, THERE ARE DIVERSE BODY SHAPES represented as romantic leads and objects of spicy attraction.
This is on my list of 10 top favorite shows EVER!!!
Wanderlust (Netflix)
What happens when a long-married couple is bored in their sex life and decides to open their relationship? I like this show because it demonstrates the importance of open communication and doesn’t fall into easy tropes.
Big Mouth (Netflix)
If you’ve ever been a teenager (umm – hi, everyone!) this show is a delightful love letter to your younger self. If you’re raising a teenager, this show is a quick CliffsNotes of what’s going on inside their brains and their bodies.
12 out of 10 – definitely recommend!
Sense8 (Netflix)
Sci-fi isn’t usually my favorite genre, but this show BLEW.MY.MIND in every episode! My three favorite things:
- the reminder of how we are all connected
- a depiction of a trans woman as a fully-realized character in a committed romantic and sexual relationship.
- GORGEOUS spicy scenes, including an orgy scene that is so beautiful I could cry
Schitt’s Creek (Netflix)
If you’ve somehow missed this show, where have you been? 🤣
Pretty much everything about this show is delightful, but my favorite three things:
- a totally normalized gay relationship
- “I like the wine not the label“
- Simply The Best 🥰
Dating Around (Netflix)
I enjoy this dating show because I think it puts the appropriate amount of importance on first dates. On other reality dating shows, the goal is to get married or find “the perfect match.”
On this show, the suitor goes on five first dates and then chooses someone for a second date. Let’s hear it for realistic and manageable expectations!
Masters of Sex (Amazon)
A fictionalized deep-dive into the work of Masters & Johnson.
Normal People (Hulu)
If you haven’t seen this show, RUN don’t walk to your television and begin streaming it RIGHT NOW.
A gorgeous story of two people finding their way in the world and with each other through adolescence and young adulthood. All the ups and downs of hormones and social pressure framed around incredibly realistic sex scenes.
There is a bit of kink shaming in the second half of the season that makes me uncomfortable, but otherwise this is a slam dunk.
The Bold Type (Hulu)
A fun and frothy show about three young women working at a women’s magazine.
What makes it noteworthy is the frank conversations of taboo topics and the progressive mindset of the characters.
Mrs. Fletcher (HBO)
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
- Kathryn Hahn 😍😍
- Exploration of a middle-age woman’s sexual awakening
- A transgender character who is a regular character not a statement character
- Super realistic
12 Dates of Christmas (HBO)
Looking for something even frothier than Dating Around or The Bold Type? This is it!
Three people meet a variety of suitors to find someone they can “bring home for Christmas.” The intrigue is that all of their suitors also meet each other, opening the possibility for sub-romances!
Hope Springs (Amazon)
Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones as a long-married couple who visit a sex therapist.
I was prepared to think this was a train wreck of cultural messaging and shaming – but it was actually quite delightful.
The Book Club (Amazon)
Four women in their “golden years” read 50 Shades of Grey.
Thanks to Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, and Mary Steenburgen for helping normalize sexuality for older women!!!
