I believe that what we see manifesting in our lives is a result of our inner beliefs – for instance, if I believe that the world is full of assholes who only want to do me wrong, I’ll get involved with an asshole who screws me over; if I believe that there are wonderful men in the world who want to treat me with all the love and care that I deserve, I’ll attract a mensch (all the non-Jewishy people please feel free to look that up here…) 🙂
For a long time, I’ve struggled with the belief that no matter how hard I worked, I would never have enough money. I’ve been actively engaged in various processes and programs to shift that old belief for several years, but no matter what I did, I kept falling back into the same old habitual attitudes, behaviors, and life circumstances. I would work myself to exhaustion and still have to scramble to pay the rent.
Recently I’ve had two readings with people in two very different fields and they both said the same thing – I am destined for a life of wealth. While that’s lovely to hear, the logical part of my brain says, “Yeah right. I’ll believe it when I see it.” And the part of me that knows the spiritual law whispers in my ear, “No, you’ll see it when you believe it.”
Well, if I had to choose a day that exemplifies the shift to a new attitude, I choose yesterday – Monday, January 10, 2011.
As I posted yesterday, I went in to a local paper to talk about doing some volunteer work and walked out with an offer for some part-time paid work. But here’s the part I didn’t tell you – the response that the publisher gave me was, “No, I won’t allow you to work for free.”
Let’s just spend a moment contemplating that – for someone who has had a hard time believing that she deserved to be paid for the work that she does and saw that belief reflected in her life, this is a HUGE shift!!! In the past if I told someone that I was willing to do a little bit of work for free, the result was usually that they’d take me up on that offer and then try to exploit it into me doing a LOT of work for free. But the new reflection is that the universe WILL NOT ALLOW ME to give myself and my talents away anymore (which isn’t to say that I can’t volunteer and do good things for the sake of doing good, but rather that it needs to come from a healthy place of sharing, rather than an out-of-balance place of giving myself away.)
Apparently that one experience wasn’t enough to get my attention, so yesterday evening the Universe upped the ante even more. I did a teaching gig last night for a local chapter of an organization that I’ve been involved with for about 10 years. As far as I knew, they don’t pay their speakers, so I didn’t walk in expecting any money. The class was terrific, I had a great time doing it, and the people in the group seemed to get a lot out of it. And as I was preparing to leave, the group organizer came up and counted out a handful of money!! I didn’t expect anything out of it, but the Universe again was letting me know that, as the old song goes, “The times, they are a-changin'”!
So I say hallelujah to a new belief that my time, talents, and energy deserve appropriate compensation!! And thank you God. 🙂
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