The miracle of self-respect

This evening I had a sneak peek into my own sense of self-respect and I’m happy to report that I’m pleased with what I saw! 🙂

I spent this evening with a group of friends – well, two friends and three people I don’t know very well.  We were playing a board game (Settlers of Catan, but it was the completely jacked-up version called Cities and Knights, which I have now decided is very stressful) and we would chat during the long pauses while people figured out what the heck their next move would be.

As the hour grew later, the conversation turned to people’s sex lives (isn’t that always the way?!)  In reply to someone else’s assertion that it had been SOOO long since she’d had sex…at least 8 weeks…I countered that it had definitely been longer for me.  The conversation continued into details that aren’t necessary here, but one of the guys (someone I’ve met a few times) turned and said to me, “It’s been so long for you I almost want to take you home just because I feel bad for you!”  That probably sounds a lot worse on the screen than it did in person – he said it in good humor and we all laughed.

But here’s the thing – it triggered in me the recognition that I have a healthy amount of self-respect.  I don’t need to go to bed with someone just to convince myself that I’m okay.  I don’t need to give in to the demands of my body when it comes at the expense of my spirit. I value my body, my spirit, and my consciousness more than that.  Sharing my body with someone is a sacred act and I choose to keep it that way.  I will take that step again when it feels like I’m honoring myself and the other person.  The days when I made compromises with my body and soul are (I believe) behind me and I am so grateful.