Thank you to everyone who has given me so much support since I posted last night – here, on Facebook, and through emails, I am so touched by the level of caring and love I have received. Thank you.
A couple of weeks ago my friend Becky lent me the first season DVDs of Friday Night Lights. She told me I would love it. I thought she might be a little crazy…this was a show about football. What in the world would I find to love about that?
Well, of course, she was right. It’s an amazing show (that’s about so much more than football) and I can hardly wait to dive into the second season.
One of my favorite parts is the team’s motto: “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!” There’s so much more to that than just what happens on a football field.
When I see a situation clearly and I allow myself to feel the truth of my feelings, I cannot be led wrong. Even if things don’t turn out exactly the way I want them to (or I thought they would) in the moment, I have not been led wrong. I have not lost.
With Mr. Blue Eyes, I have not lost. Not for a moment. I cherish every minute that we spent together and I always will. There is nothing about this story that will go in my little black book of dating disasters.
This did not turn out the way I wanted it to and the way I thought it would, but I have not lost. I won just by being in the relationship and experiencing his love for a little while. And I’m willing to bet that if you asked him, he’d say the same thing.
That’s what I will hold on to.
One other note… A number of people have commented on the clarity and coherence with which I can speak about something so emotional that just happened. The truth is that although the final ending came three days ago, it had been coming for a few weeks. I’ve had a little time to get used to it (although it doesn’t make it any easier.) The sleepless nights and days when I couldn’t eat passed outside of public view. I wouldn’t want anyone to get the idea that those things didn’t happen or that I’m some preternaturally composed person. 🙂
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5Z5BzNAh6Y
(If you can’t view this video on the screen,
click here to see it on YouTube.)
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