Last week I visited the eye doctor (the day I realized that I didn’t need to have a panic attack while the doctor was shining bright things in my eyes.) Now I’m embarking on phase II of that journey… picking out NEW EYEGLASS FRAMES! (In my head I hear that in a big ominous voice that reverberates endlessly.)
The last time I picked out frames was 13 years ago. Yes, my prescription has changed at least four times since then.
I usually wear contacts everywhere except at home late at night, so not keeping my glasses prescription up to date wasn’t ever a problem. For years I’ve told myself that I didn’t get new glasses because of the money. This week’s realization – it is never, ever actually about the money. The money was just an excuse to avoid looking at what was really going on. (click to tweet)
When I got those glasses 13 years ago, I was dating a man who wasn’t especially sensitive. That’s being generous. I picked up the glasses and was excited to show them off to him that night. His response was, “Those frames look terrible on you. Why did you pick those?”
From that moment on, I never wore the glasses outside of the house if I could help it.
So you’d think I’d be thrilled to be trying on new frames and getting rid of the old glasses, right? Wrong. On Friday, when I put on the first frames, all I could think was, “You’re going to make a terrible decision. You can’t be trusted to do this. You’re going to waste a lot of money and get something you hate.”
I put on one frame after another and helplessly turned to my shopping companion and the salesperson to get their opinions. I knew that I didn’t like some of the ones that they did, and that I liked some of the ones they didn’t – but that didn’t matter. I relied 100% on their opinions.
By the time we left the store, I was in meltdown mode and the store was holding out 8 pairs for me – none of which I was really sure I liked.
The one good thing was that I could see what I was doing to myself, so I decided to try something radically different.
On Saturday, I took myself on a shopping excursion. I went to another frame shop and told the salesperson that I’d rather not have her help. I was there for one reason, and one reason ONLY – to start to discover what I like. Not what anyone else likes, or what anybodytells me I like. What style do I want to wear?
I did the same thing again after work today – I went to another shop and told the salesperson to pretend I wasn’t there. Having already narrowed down to what I like, I only needed to try on the ones that fit that criteria. Today I narrowed it down to two strong possibilities, both of which I like.
Coming from a background where my father told me what I thought and what I liked, it has been an ever-evolving process to find my own thoughts and opinions. This weekend I peeled another layer off that onion.
And the other thing I realized in all of this is that I’m not making an irrevocable choice. I don’t have to keep the next set of glasses for 13 years!
Today’s miracle: Reclaiming another little bit of who I am and who I want to be in this life!
And for those of you who are curious, here’s a selection of the glasses I liked enough to take pictures of… (but I’m not gonna tell you which ones are the finalists!) 🙂
And because no frame-shopping experience would be complete without trying on at least ONE pair of Harry Potter glasses…
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Sheila
December 4, 2012 at 7:17 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I want to vote! I want to vote! I pick the pink ones (third from the last!) 😉
Sheila recently posted at their blog…Collective Consciousness: The Power of One
Leah Carey
December 4, 2012 at 7:45 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks Sheila! As I told people on Facebook, everyone is welcome to vote…I just don’t promise to listen. 🙂
With that said, I’m getting a master class from this post on why I need to listen to my own gut – because I’ve had equal numbers of people saying “I LOVE the pink/red ones” and people saying “I don’t think the pink/red ones are a good color for you”!!
Jennifer Strong
December 6, 2012 at 8:42 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I have refrained from giving my opinion thus far, and trust me it has not been easy. So all I’m going to say is you look absolutely ravishing in pictures 4 and 5.
Leah Carey
December 6, 2012 at 8:44 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks Jennifer!! 🙂
The Miracle Journal | When you can’t breathe, sing
December 27, 2012 at 8:19 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[…] out because it was snowing so hard, so I decided to walk. Here is my first official photo with the new glasses […]