Jan 24

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Will you love me even if I fail?

I had a big revelation last night.  Huge!

I have the opportunity to submit a Miracle Journal book proposal to Hay House Publishing – the biggest name in personal development books – that will be reviewed by the CEO of the company.  As a writer without an agent, that’s practically unheard of in the publishing world.

Now a book proposal is not a little thing.  It’s a HUGE project.  It’s basically building the skeleton of the book, plus telling the publisher everything they need to know about how I’ll market it, why I’m a good prospect, etc.  It needs to be complete by mid-March.  Of course, there are no guarantees, but it’s the first step on an important ladder.

When I first knew that I’d have this opportunity, I was ecstatic!  But over the last month, I’ve started to talk myself out of it.  I’ve found every excuse about why I’m not ready to do this.  How I might embarrass myself.  Why I’m not good enough.

Last night I got to be the client while the teacher in my coaching training did an example session, and I talked about this: with this giant opportunity in front of me, why the resistance?

We established that I need an accountability partner to help me stay on track.  Julia asked me, “What do you need to hear from your accountability partner?”

When I couldn’t come up with an answer, Julia offered an option: “Do you need to hear, ‘I’ll love you even if you fail, but I also believe in you and know that you’ll succeed’?”

BAM!!!!  That, ladies and gentlemen, hit the nail on the head.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be this unafraid of failure again?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be this unafraid of failure again?

That isn’t a message that I heard as a kid. (Well, to clarify, I did hear it from my mom, but I didn’t hear from my dad and he’s the one I needed to hear it from.)

When I was in junior high school, my parents were looking at other high school options because my local school wasn’t a good fit for me.  When I brought home my first ever B+ on a report card, my father flew into a rage saying, “Why should we bother sending you to another school if you can’t even bring home A’s at this school?” Then he grounded me from television for several weeks – not so that I’d study harder, but as a punishment.

Failure wasn’t an option.  I learned to not even try things if I there was a chance I wouldn’t succeed.  And because I stopped trying to do anything “hard”, I began to believe that I couldn’t succeed at anything that required work.

Thankfully, I began to release that pattern when I began doing my inner work at Inner Visions Institute.  But it still shows up sometimes, especially around high stakes stuff…like writing a book proposal for a major publisher.

Julia’s words were right on because she addressed both parts of the fear – first, that I’ll still be lovable even if my proposal isn’t perfect; and second, that it’s also okay to believe in my success.

Thank you, Julia.  I am so grateful that you could hear inside my head when I couldn’t.  🙂

Today’s miracleMy lovability isn’t dependent on the success or failure of anything that I do. (Tweet this)

PS – My dear friend Michelle Phillips (a Hay House author and radio personality herself!) just re-posted one of my old blog articles, “The Miracle of A YUMMY Body”!  You can visit her and read the post here.

About the author

Leah Carey

Leah Carey is the Chief Miracle Officer of The Miracle Journal, where she writes about the large and small miracles that happen in her life every day. She is a life coach, speaker, journalist, freelance writer, and lover of life. In all of those pursuits, she works with people to identify what’s already right in your life so you can build an even more joyful and fulfilling daily experience from that foundation. You can find her on Facebook, , Twitter, and YouTube.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.leahcarey.com/themiraclejournal/2013/01/24/will-you-love-me-even-if-i-fail/


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  1. Sheila

    Think of all the people who will benefit from your miracle facilitation when Hay House offers you a book deal! I told you long ago that you were destined to greatness! Step into it my friend, it is yours…
    Sheila recently posted at their blog…Nutella makes birthday even better

    1. Leah Carey

      Thank you Sheila!!! I appreciate your support so much. 🙂

  2. Eileen

    Oh, Leah! Go for this…you’ll be leading us all by example. I’m so proud of you!

    Sending love and hugs,

    1. Leah Carey

      What a lovely thing to say Eileen! Thank you. 🙂

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    […] I’ve spent the last couple of weeks focusing single-mindedly on my book proposal and accompanying video. […]

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    […] did it!! Yesterday I hit the “send” button and submitted my book proposal. Relief doesn’t even begin to cover what I’m […]

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