9 things that annoy the f*ck out of me

Last week a friend said to me, “I didn’t want to tell you about all this shit that’s been blowing up in my life until I’d found the miracle in it.” Which is sweet and all, but…well…I think something’s getting lost in translation.

It made me realize that perhaps some of you have the wrong idea – that perhaps you think I find the wonderful in EVERYTHING and that I don’t ever let things get me down. That perhaps your issues and annoyances are too petty to bring to the table in light of all this miracle shit.

So tonight, let me draw back the curtain and share with you some of the things that annoy the fuck out of me. Things that I roll my eyes at, that cause me to sigh loudly, and that at any given moment make me want to claw someone’s eyes out.

1. People at the grocery store who turn into an aisle without looking to see if there’s someone else already standing in the spot they are headed for at Mach-10…and then give ME a dirty look because I happen to be standing in the spot they now want to occupy. They should have to get a fucking drivers license to operate those grocery carts!!!!

2. People who walk down the sidewalk with a small child, paying more attention to their cell phone than to the little person with them. Actually, any person who isn’t paying primary attention to that precious small person in their life pisses me off more than I can say.

3. People who enter a room and launch into a monologue, with absolutely no awareness of what was going on before they walked in the room.  Like other people having conversations.  That might have been important.  But apparently not as important as what they need to share.  Here’s a hint: You are not the most important fucking person in the room!

4. People who don’t introduce themselves at the beginning of a phone conversation.  They just expect me to know who they are.  Confession time – even if I know who it is, sometimes I play dumb until they’re forced to tell me who they are.  It’s just so fucking rude!  (Important note – this doesn’t apply to close friends who I talk with all the time…)

5. People who drop trash on the floor, expecting that someone else (less important than them) will pick it up. Let me repeat – you are NOT the most important fucking person in the room!

6. People who say to a waiter or waitress in an imperious tone, “I’ll have the duck.”  No actually, you won’t have the duck unless your waiter or waitress puts in the order, picks it up in a timely manner, and delivers it to you without dropping it in your lap.  Would a fucking “please” and “thank you” be so painful to add?

7. Anyone who treats maids, waitresses, and other service personnel as if they are not worthy of the same respect you would give your own mother.  These people work a lot harder for a lot less money than your average office workers and aren’t given a whole lot of respect.  And you know what?  Your hotel room toilet would be a horror show if they didn’t show up and clean the shit out of it for you. It’s not difficult to smile and say hello.

8. People who make an oblique reference to something with the obvious intention of forcing me to ask them what they’re talking about.  I don’t like being manipulated into having the conversation you want to have.  If you want to tell me something, just fucking say it! Don’t make me responsible for getting it out of you.

9. People who assume that just because when they did x and y happened, it therefore is true for everyone else, and they spend a lot of breath being the fucking expert by telling everyone else how things ARE in the world. Really???? Are you sure that your experience is the only valid one in the room????  Yep, that one bugs the shit out of me.

Well then – perhaps not your usual Miracle Journal post, but an important one (and unusually profanity-laced one) nonetheless.

A little shit falls in everyone’s life.

Everyone gets annoyed and pissed off and cranky – even people who look for the positive.

Everyone has their trigger points (and if someone tells you they don’t, they’re lying.  Because if they really didn’t have any trigger points, they wouldn’t need to say it, they’d just live it.)

Part of what’s super important to me on the Miracle Journal is to NOT blow sunshine and sparkles up anyone’s ass.  When there’s shit in my life, I tell you.  But I don’t broadcast that shit on the internet until I’ve processed it.  Because the internet DOES.NOT.NEED. one more person spewing their unprocessed shit.

But that DOES.NOT.MEAN. that I’m not sharing my shit SOMEWHERE.  I have a group of friends, mentors, and loved ones who I lean on all the time.  I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without them.  I’d be curled up in a hole under a rock in CrazyTown if I couldn’t call them when the shit is hitting the fan.

So let’s make a pact, okay?  No more of this, “I’m not going to tell you about shit until I’ve found a miracle.”

I am a coach.  I work with people while they’re in their shit.  That’s the point.  And if you choose to share your shit with me, then hopefully you’re not out spreading it around somewhere else where it could get you in trouble. Like the internet.  Just sayin’.

I am now officially declaring today SHARE YOUR SHIT day.  Since apparently I’ve started it by sharing mine.  🙂

And in honor of SHARE YOUR SHIT day, I’m going to make a very special offer – a free half-hour coaching session to the first 10 people who set up an appointment by clicking here.  Yep, completely free.  To SHARE YOUR SHIT.  And hopefully, by the end of the half hour, to see your shit from a new perspective.  Because that’s the goal of SHARING YOUR SHIT.

Let’s do this, ‘k?

What are the things that annoy the fuck out of you?  Head down to the comments and sound off!