Aug 04

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Is it fear or is it boredom?

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to submit a book proposal to Hay House, the biggest publisher in the personal development industry. If you have been reading for a while, you’ll remember that I chronicled that experience here on the Journal and over on Facebook.  I was incredibly blessed to have so much support from so many of you.

I worked really hard on that document and I was really proud of it.

But here’s the thing I wasn’t even willing to admit to myself at the time – I wasn’t especially psyched about the book I was proposing to them.  It felt kind of “ho hum”.  I remember reading some of the chapter summaries and feeling fuzzy on how exactly I would write about them. But I pushed those thoughts out of my head to be dealt with another day.  All that mattered was having a finished book proposal to submit by the deadline.

And then I didn’t get the contract.  Which was a disappointment and a small blow to the ego, but it wasn’t as devastating as I would have imagined.  And even then I wasn’t able to admit to myself why – because it was a book I didn’t really want to write.

In the last couple weeks it finally occurred to me what that was all about – I was proposing the book that I thought Hay House would want to publish, rather than the book that I wanted to write!!!  And the result was that neither of us was willing to invest in it. Thank goodness I didn’t get that contract!

Why am I telling you this?  Because in the aftermath of having the book I thought I should write rejected, I’ve discovered the book I really want to write – the one that feels so organic, so completely me, so totally exciting that I can’t believe I’m the one who gets to write it!!!!

As part of the creation process, I’ve been doing interviews with some amazing people and thinking, I can’t believe I’m the one who gets to talk to them about such fascinating ideas!!!!

Doing that book proposal was a huge blessing, but having it turned down was an even BIGGER blessing.

As I review the experience, I recognize the emptiness in the pit of my stomach that I felt while I was writing the proposal. It’s one that I’ve always associated with fear – fear of not being good enough, smart enough, accomplished enough, whatever enough.

But now I’m realizing that empty feeling wasn’t fear – it was my body’s early warning system that the book I was proposing would bore even me!

It’s an important reminder for me…

When I do what I think someone else wants me to do, it never goes well. When I act in alignment with the truth of who I am, I can do my greatest work. <– Click to tweet

What about you? Is there anyone you’ve been trying to please lately?


About the author

Leah Carey

Leah Carey is the Chief Miracle Officer of The Miracle Journal, where she writes about the large and small miracles that happen in her life every day. She is a life coach, speaker, journalist, freelance writer, and lover of life. In all of those pursuits, she works with people to identify what’s already right in your life so you can build an even more joyful and fulfilling daily experience from that foundation. You can find her on Facebook, , Twitter, and YouTube.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.leahcarey.com/themiraclejournal/2013/08/04/is-it-fear-or-is-it-boredom/


  1. Lisa LaPlante

    I’m SO EXCITED that you get to be the one who writes this new book too!!!!!!

    Can’t WAIT!

    1. Leah Carey

      Thanks Lisa! I’m SO EXCITED to get to share it with YOU!!!! 🙂

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