Calling bullsh*t on myself

Hi everyone!  Long time, no write.  🙂

Before I get into the good stuff, a couple notes… I had a massive computer meltdown at the beginning of the month.  Thankfully it didn’t disrupt work on the book, but it was massively stressful.  It’s why you haven’t heard from me in so long!

Also, earlier this evening I did an interview with Dr. Jo Anne White on her show, Power Your Life. It will be replayed Monday, Aug. 29 at 8 p.m. at http://w4wn.com/radio-shows/power-your-life-radio-show/  Through working on this book, the concepts I’ve been talking about for the last couple years are starting to come together in an even clearer, more cogent way, and I think that really shone through in this interview.  Check it out if you have a chance!

And now on to the main event…

Calling BULLSHIT on myself!

I am part of two separate entrepreneurial working groups in the personal development field.  Between the two groups, I am blessed to have found five women who inspire me without end.  We lift each other up, push each other to reach beyond our comfort zones, and provide a loving space for frustration, fear, and celebration.  I don’t know how I got so lucky to find these five women, but they enrich my life immeasurably.

And yet………..

Sometimes I listen to one or another of them talking about what they’re doing and I … feel … JEALOUS.

Last week, I was on the phone with C. and she was describing how she strikes up conversations with strangers on the train and by the end of the ride she has a new client.  And how she gets people to sign up for her mailing list while she’s working at Whole Foods during the day.

I listen to her and I think, “Oh My God!!!  She has got her shit SO TOGETHER!  Why can’t I pick up clients on a train ride?  Why am I not building my list every time I speak to someone?  How come I can’t be as AMAZING as she is????”

As much excitement as I felt for her amazing celebrations, I felt an equal amount of loathing for myself.  Because if I were truly worth my salt, I should be able to do all she’s doing and more, right?!?!?!?!

Wrong.

It took me a day or so of this crazy thinking to remember…

I’ve been writing this blog for coming up on three years.  There are many hundreds of you out there who are regular readers and take inspiration from it.

I do radio interviews regularly and the hosts often tell me that I’m one of their favorite guests they’ve ever had.  Really!

I’m writing a book.  I’m interviewing A.MA.ZING. people every week for the book and the wisdom that they’re sharing just blows my mind.  That is happening because I have a talent for reaching other teachers and thought leaders and getting them to buy into what I’m doing and share themselves.

Last week I interviewed Guy Raz of NPR, a man who has traveled to the hottest war torn areas in the world and has interviewed world leaders, and when we were done he told me that I’m a good interviewer with great questions.  It’s the second time I’ve heard that from a media veteran in the last couple months.

I am always seeking out new places to speak and teach.

I live what I teach.  24 hours a day.  Every day.  I don’t always get it right, but I AM always learning.

And in light of all that I’m going to complain that I can’t get a client while I’m on the train?  OH PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!!

That is the most useless, self-indulgent bit of crazy.  So I’m calling myself on my own bullshit. 

My triumphs and celebrations may look different than C’s, but that’s because we’re different people with different talents.  We each bring a formidable set of skills to the table, and I’m going to whine about the ones that I didn’t get???  Once again I say….oh puh-leeeeeeeeeeze!

In fact, I’ll go a step further – it is disrespectful for me to discount my own skills, and hunger after C’s.  It is disrespectful of myself, but it’s also disrespectful of her, because she has her own fears and insecurities.  If I put her on a pedestal, imagining that she has it all together, I am not fully available to hear and support her in her moments of doubt.

And I tend to forget that C regularly tells me how much she admires me and what an inspiration I am for her.  🙂

What about you?  Who are you comparing yourself to?

This brilliant image was found here.