My pledge to love

This is my pledge…

I will trust you enough to tell you the truth as I know it in any given moment.

I won’t disappear without a word. If I need space or time, I will tell you.

When I fuck up – and I will – I will own up to it.  I will offer explanations if they are necessary, but do my best to not make excuses.

I can’t promise to not hurt you, just like you can’t promise to not hurt me.  We don’t get to decide what another finds hurtful. But if you are hurt… I will listen.  I might not be able to make it better – I might not even agree with what you say – but I will have enough honor and respect for you to listen to your feelings.

I don’t want to mother you. I do want to help you feel loved, supported, and nurtured.

I will remind myself that you are not my father, my mother, my ex-boyfriend, my teacher…or anyone else from my past.  I will strive to see YOU as YOU.  And when I forget – and I will – I promise to reach out to my support system and ask them to pull me back to reality.

I hope that you will be an important part of my support system, but I promise that you won’t be my ENTIRE support system.

I will allow you to support me and love me to the very best of your ability.

I will support and love you to the very best of my ability.

When you give me a compliment, I will accept it. When I give you a compliment, I will mean it.

I will continue to do my inner work so that I can be the healthiest partner and the healthiest self possible.

I promise to laugh with you.  A lot.

I promise to fight clean and fair.  And to have fun making up.

I will remind myself that when we’re at odds, I have a choice to be right or to be at peace.

I will endeavor to always see you as the whole and complicated person that you are – not perfect, but not broken; full of strengths and weaknesses; loved, loving, and lovable.

I will trust you enough to show you the whole and complicated person that I am – and not hide the parts that I’ve convinced myself aren’t lovable.

And if a time comes that I can no longer keep these promises in good faith, I will strive to tell you the truth with love, and work together to find a way forward that leaves us both feeling whole and complete.

I have spent long enough without a partner to know what a treasure and privilege it is to find love.  I promise to not take it – or you – for granted.

I don’t know who you are yet, but I promise that I’m staying open to finding you. I hope you’re doing the same.