Sep 03

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My pledge to love

This is my pledge…

I will trust you enough to tell you the truth as I know it in any given moment.

I won’t disappear without a word. If I need space or time, I will tell you.

When I fuck up – and I will – I will own up to it.  I will offer explanations if they are necessary, but do my best to not make excuses.

I can’t promise to not hurt you, just like you can’t promise to not hurt me.  We don’t get to decide what another finds hurtful. But if you are hurt… I will listen.  I might not be able to make it better – I might not even agree with what you say – but I will have enough honor and respect for you to listen to your feelings.

I don’t want to mother you. I do want to help you feel loved, supported, and nurtured.

sunset-couple-pledgeI will remind myself that you are not my father, my mother, my ex-boyfriend, my teacher…or anyone else from my past.  I will strive to see YOU as YOU.  And when I forget – and I will – I promise to reach out to my support system and ask them to pull me back to reality.

I hope that you will be an important part of my support system, but I promise that you won’t be my ENTIRE support system.

I will allow you to support me and love me to the very best of your ability.

I will support and love you to the very best of my ability.

When you give me a compliment, I will accept it. When I give you a compliment, I will mean it.

I will continue to do my inner work so that I can be the healthiest partner and the healthiest self possible.

I promise to laugh with you.  A lot.

I promise to fight clean and fair.  And to have fun making up.

I will remind myself that when we’re at odds, I have a choice to be right or to be at peace.

I will endeavor to always see you as the whole and complicated person that you are – not perfect, but not broken; full of strengths and weaknesses; loved, loving, and lovable.

I will trust you enough to show you the whole and complicated person that I am – and not hide the parts that I’ve convinced myself aren’t lovable.

And if a time comes that I can no longer keep these promises in good faith, I will strive to tell you the truth with love, and work together to find a way forward that leaves us both feeling whole and complete.

I have spent long enough without a partner to know what a treasure and privilege it is to find love.  I promise to not take it – or you – for granted.

I don’t know who you are yet, but I promise that I’m staying open to finding you. I hope you’re doing the same.

About the author

Leah Carey

Leah Carey is the Chief Miracle Officer of The Miracle Journal, where she writes about the large and small miracles that happen in her life every day. She is a life coach, speaker, journalist, freelance writer, and lover of life. In all of those pursuits, she works with people to identify what’s already right in your life so you can build an even more joyful and fulfilling daily experience from that foundation. You can find her on Facebook, , Twitter, and YouTube.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.leahcarey.com/themiraclejournal/2013/09/03/my-pledge-to-love/


  1. Lisa LaPlante

    I. Love. THIS!!!!!

    You are well on your way to meeting not just someone, but more and more of the RIGHT people in your life!!!! <3

    Love you so much!
    Thank you for these amazing words.

    1. Leah Carey

      Thank you Lisa! I’m pretty darn lucky to have you as one of the RIGHT people in my life. 🙂

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